By Sherene McHenry PhD
Life, by its very nature, entails rejection. Even the most beautiful and powerful among us are not immune from it. Princess Diana, Abraham Lincoln, Al Gore, Jennifer Aniston and everyone voted off Survivor has suffered rejection's sting. At least the vast majority of us can be grateful that millions didn't watch our rejection on TV or read about it in the tabloids!
I'm dating. Now there's a land ripe for rejection! Who hasn't heard, and said, "You're a great person, but..." Unfortunately, rejection isn't limited to dating. It happens with jobs, friends, clubs, athletics, colleges...
One thing I know. If you're out there taking chances, you're going to suffer rejection. Those who try to totally avoid rejection never leave home, and that's a diagnosable illness! The truth is, the more chances we take, the more we open ourselves up to the pain of rejection. But, as Radames sings in Aida, "Fortune favors the bold!"
Where would we be if Christopher Columbus had stayed home, or Lincoln hadn't chosen to run for president, despite having lost almost every other election he'd ever attempted? Unwilling to live lives of quiet desperation or mediocrity, those who achieve great things regularly risk rejection.
When rejection inevitably comes our way, we have three choices:
1). Shutoff our hopes, dreams and feelings. Many make this devastating decision in an attempt to stop the pain. I understand why-- rejection feels terrible and appears to confirm our deepest fears as it whispers we're inadequate, worth fighting for, or enough! The problem with shutting off our hopes, dreams and feelings is that it limits our ability to live. Furthermore, it prevents us from growing, achieving and eventually acquiring the very things we desire!
2). Learn from it. Sometimes rejection occurs for a valid reason. Healthy individuals search to see if changes are in order and act accordingly. At the same time, rejection isn't always about you! Others approach the world from their own needs and brokenness--maybe their mom dropped them on their head. Perhaps they've had bad experiences in the past. Who knows, you may even look like their second grade teacher! Or, just maybe, someone else is a better fit. Regardless of how it may feel, rejection isn't always personal!
3). Choose to view it as protection. Looking back on my life, I clearly see God's hand of protection through many of the rejections I've experienced-especially when I was unwilling to protect myself. Beyond greater pain and potential disaster being adverted, in the long run I've often received something far better. Like in Garth Brooks' "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers..."
Ultimately, each of us is responsible for growing and for taking the steps and risks to achieve our dreams. If you want to meet Prince Charming, you can't spend your life in front of your television. Nor will you land the job of your dreams if you never let people know you're looking.
While we can't control rejection, the choice to learn, grow and move forward is always ours. If you've closed your heart, ask God to heal it. Find a good counselor if you can't get over things on your own. I personally owe a great deal to counselors-it's amazing how helpful a well-trained, objective third party can be! Lastly, realize that while painful, rejection isn't fatal. Get out there, take appropriate chances and remember-- "To the riskers go the spoils!"
Human relations expert Dr. Sherene McHenry, is passionate about helping others live life to the fullest. Visit mchenryinternational.com or call 989-621-3763 to learn more about how Sherene can help you achieve your dreams.
Life, by its very nature, entails rejection. Even the most beautiful and powerful among us are not immune from it. Princess Diana, Abraham Lincoln, Al Gore, Jennifer Aniston and everyone voted off Survivor has suffered rejection's sting. At least the vast majority of us can be grateful that millions didn't watch our rejection on TV or read about it in the tabloids!
I'm dating. Now there's a land ripe for rejection! Who hasn't heard, and said, "You're a great person, but..." Unfortunately, rejection isn't limited to dating. It happens with jobs, friends, clubs, athletics, colleges...
One thing I know. If you're out there taking chances, you're going to suffer rejection. Those who try to totally avoid rejection never leave home, and that's a diagnosable illness! The truth is, the more chances we take, the more we open ourselves up to the pain of rejection. But, as Radames sings in Aida, "Fortune favors the bold!"
Where would we be if Christopher Columbus had stayed home, or Lincoln hadn't chosen to run for president, despite having lost almost every other election he'd ever attempted? Unwilling to live lives of quiet desperation or mediocrity, those who achieve great things regularly risk rejection.
When rejection inevitably comes our way, we have three choices:
1). Shutoff our hopes, dreams and feelings. Many make this devastating decision in an attempt to stop the pain. I understand why-- rejection feels terrible and appears to confirm our deepest fears as it whispers we're inadequate, worth fighting for, or enough! The problem with shutting off our hopes, dreams and feelings is that it limits our ability to live. Furthermore, it prevents us from growing, achieving and eventually acquiring the very things we desire!
2). Learn from it. Sometimes rejection occurs for a valid reason. Healthy individuals search to see if changes are in order and act accordingly. At the same time, rejection isn't always about you! Others approach the world from their own needs and brokenness--maybe their mom dropped them on their head. Perhaps they've had bad experiences in the past. Who knows, you may even look like their second grade teacher! Or, just maybe, someone else is a better fit. Regardless of how it may feel, rejection isn't always personal!
3). Choose to view it as protection. Looking back on my life, I clearly see God's hand of protection through many of the rejections I've experienced-especially when I was unwilling to protect myself. Beyond greater pain and potential disaster being adverted, in the long run I've often received something far better. Like in Garth Brooks' "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers..."
Ultimately, each of us is responsible for growing and for taking the steps and risks to achieve our dreams. If you want to meet Prince Charming, you can't spend your life in front of your television. Nor will you land the job of your dreams if you never let people know you're looking.
While we can't control rejection, the choice to learn, grow and move forward is always ours. If you've closed your heart, ask God to heal it. Find a good counselor if you can't get over things on your own. I personally owe a great deal to counselors-it's amazing how helpful a well-trained, objective third party can be! Lastly, realize that while painful, rejection isn't fatal. Get out there, take appropriate chances and remember-- "To the riskers go the spoils!"
Human relations expert Dr. Sherene McHenry, is passionate about helping others live life to the fullest. Visit mchenryinternational.com or call 989-621-3763 to learn more about how Sherene can help you achieve your dreams.
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